Friday, September 3, 2010

Mini-Missions Accomplished

Mini-Mission #1: I completed my first musical theatre workshop in LA, well anywhere really. Last night was our final class and while every week, I considered turning around and heading home because I was so nervous I thought I'd be sick, I didn't. I showed up & that's a start.

Mini-Mission #2: I got through an audition with more success than ever before in my adult life. After college, the few auditions I attended were complete disasters. I let my nerves and past negative experiences overwhelm me and I wasn't able to present any of my actual self or talent. Last night was our final class and it was a mock audition with a local casting director. Sure, there are things I would like to do differently but I was there- me, my voice, my personality, even my mistakes. Nerves were there too but I didn't allow them to take control.

Mini-Mission #3: I sang in front of a casting director, a real one. I didn't know this was a mission I wanted to complete but in the midst of this experience, I realized I did and that this was a pretty great opportunity to be seen by and garner advice from a knowledgeable and successful member of the industry. She was fantastic, seriously, such a wonderful person that I wanted to be her friend and not because she could get me a job! (Don't worry, I didn't try.) I learned a lot from her simply by watching her interact with the other actors and of course, by listening to her closely during the critique and Q & A. She made me want to be a better actor.

Mini-Mission #3: I "proved [I'm] an actress." Words that came from our teacher in her portion of my critique. Now that was a good moment. She offered other comments that fall under the "construction criticism" category (and I'm grateful for them) but I think up until that moment she wasn't sure about me and I wasn't sure I could deliver what I knew I had in me. Now the real work begins because it was just a glimpse and I have more to prove to her and to me.

Mini-Mission #4: I had fun singing in front of others.

Not bad for an 8 week class! I called these "mini" missions because while I consider each of them important and successes, I can't say I really owned them or that the work is over. In fact, it truly has just begun and if I want to improve, the list of missions to be accomplished and re-accomplished is literally never ending. My fear? That I'll quit. I hope I don't make that choice. I hope I've come far enough to see that I'm worth it, as cheesy as that sounds. Now, that would be a whole other mission accomplished!


Lynnette said...

Wow! I'm so proud of you! That's a lot of missions accomplished in a short time. I love that you had fun and that you really wanted to learn & grow in spite of the nerves. Nerves/fear of breaking out of your box really holds so many of us back, I think...we sort of give up on dreaming in lieu of practicality.

primadonnadiva said...

OK, so what's your secret? How do you have fun singing in front of others? I would love to accomplish that!! - R